I woke up this morning in the early moments of the Seattle dawn at 06:50am with hooks of negativity on my body and trapped by my human condition of my limiting five senses. The room was dark, I couldn’t hear anything other than my immediate internal chatter of doubt and all the nagging chores I had to do today, and I could feel the aloneness in my bed. Crap, I just woke up and I didn’t need to start my Thanksgiving day this way, but here I was.
I got out of bed and told myself, “write”, get my thoughts onto paper, so that I can physically see them and touch them. Writing and journaling has always been a mood lifter, a spiritual practice of mine, as I allow my thoughts to flow out of me. I sat at my writing table looking out through my window to Puget Sound and I allowed myself to write my morning pages. The words on the paper started out as irritants reminding me of my thoughts of unfulfilled longings and the hooks of cynicism, but I moved into a more expansive space, a reminder that the Universe is a generous, abundant giver, and it likes to be appreciated.
Move those irritating thoughts into excitability; life has possibilities.
*Jenn Journals…I let it all loose.
“Today is a day that is supposed to be about gratitude and giving thanks and all you feel is frustration and irritation over “longings” and timing of life that you have no control over. You are such a fickle pickle. You are happy where you are, you are not happy where you are. You want something new in your life, but you feel safe staying the same. NO wonder you’re irritated, I’d be irritated with conflicting mental thoughts. Where is the happy medium? Be a happy medium. What are you waiting for? What are you holding yourself still for? Channel something new, something beyond your limited senses. GET OUTSIDE!”
I took my journal’s advice and decided to get outside of myself and outside of my house. I opened my front door and stepped onto the walking trail of Alki Beach right outside my house, where other fellow neighbors were busy running the Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot. There was action and aliveness all around me. I took a deep breath as I started walking and noticing the abundance already all around me. A seagull flew overhead and then landed in the grass along side me with a huge fish in its mouth, twice as big as the seagull itself. My mental focus became centered on the size of that fish and how the seagull was getting quite a Thanksgiving feast. That bird had all he needed in moment and was living an abundant life! I walked a little further and saw 3 otters swimming and diving together in the water. Observing this perfect trinity of otters brought me a divine gift, the symbolism of play and ability to find renewed joy in life.
I could feel my body relax and I was beginning to find an attitude of gratitude. I thought to myself, “The world outside of myself really is quite expansive. There is abundance everywhere! And today is the 22nd of November, a master number of 22 to remind me of the many inspirational insights available at any moment and to stay optimistic, confident, and to keep the faith”. At that moment, one of the runners from the Turkey Trot ran past me, blazing past me with the number 22 printed on her shift, with her name CROSS listed above it.
YES… life will cross our minds and cross our path, in ways expected and unexpected. It presents gifts in each moment, when we open up to it. Opening myself in that moment and activating my spiritual side gave me the freedom to relax and let go of the negativity of my morning. I looked around and saw the panorama of Seattle, from rain to my left to an opening of sunny blue sky on my right. The full spectrum of dark to light.
This Thanksgiving morning I was able to rejoice and be thankful for seeing a portion of the dark side of myself and then being open to see all the abundance and gifts of opportunity around me.
My journal spoke and was right: “Channel something new, something beyond your limited senses and let go of something that has been hindering you. As you use excitability and power to see the beauty around you, your life will change for the better”.