In the Gap

Recently, I was sitting with my friend Randy having a beer discussing life and the hard lessons of my past that have personally affected me.  With my bemoaning and feeling sorry for myself, Randy interrupted me and said ever so guru like “Every rubber ball has to hit in the ground in order to bounce”.  He got my grey cells thinking and my beer less tear filled.  YES, that is so metaphorically and metaphysically awesome!  Metafabulous!  I AM THE RUBBER BALL!! 

A rubber ball has kinetic energy, that is the energy of being in motion, as it’s falling to the ground under the force of gravity.  As the ball begins to make contact with the ground the energy transforms from kinetic to potential energy.  Potential energy is motionless.  It is the capacity for the ball to become or develop into something in the future by virtue of its position relative to something else and the stresses within itself.  This shift to potential energy happens as the direction and force of acceleration on the ball changes from downwards to upwards as it hits the ground.  In that split moment when the force acting on the ball makes a transition from downwards to upwards there is a momentary “gap” when the speed of the ball is zero, right before the ball rebounds upwards. 

In the “gap” is where the magic happens.

Of course, we are people made of blood and flesh and not a rubber ball made of latex or other polymers, so I don’t suggest you slam your body onto the ground in order to feel the magic in the gap because you won’t bounce the same as the ball.  Instead your bones and nerves will feel pain and I’m sure you wouldn’t enjoy a visit to your local ER.  Instead, “mind the gap” as you board the train to the metaphysical playground of magic where you can begin again to create what you want.

For me, a major gap in my life was the moment I decided to leave my toxic marriage and start a new journey towards self.  I had been living a married life in a tormented and codependent marriage.  As a nurse, I have a natural inclination to being the giver.  My motto was, “Whatever it takes, I will give”.  But after two years of working my nursing jobs while my younger and capable husband stayed home because he “didn’t feel like working” and then coming home to do all the budgeting, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dog care, grocery shopping, etc…..  I found myself exhausted.  I was not happy and my life force energy was being drained, fast.  I became sick and unable to tolerate my job or my life.  I hated me and who I was.  I had nothing to support me while I tried to support myself, a husband, a home, and the life I thought I had wanted and worked hard to create.   

I fell hard to the ground, but it wasn’t just from kinetic energy and the force of gravity that I fell, it actually was my husband who, one night got especially angry, and physically threw me to the ground.  As lay there staring at the ceiling, I heard my new motto come out of nowhere.  “Let go.  Stop, and begin again”.  My whole body relaxed and I let go.   

Let go of what you’re afraid of losing. 

Stop holding on to what isn’t working. 

Begin again towards something that will. 

I was the lost girl, who was no longer in the marriage she hoped it would be.  I took my steps and left my two year marriage and then realized I was in the gap.  A state of waiting to become the next level of me.  I fearfully had no idea what that looked like or where that would take me.  It was the going from point A to point B and the journey was the gap….the distance between the two states of energetic being. 

In the human real world context of personal adversity when you “hit bottom” or feel a “low point”, sometimes the gap can be days, months, or even years.  Allow it; give it time.  I find that the gap is a place where personal transformation begins, in a spiritual process that takes spiritual time.  It won’t happen on our perfect human timeline.  It is a transition zone from one old state of being to the new heightened state of being that your spirit wants you to create and allow.  Turn your potential energy of who you want to be, into kinetic energy of action to create that new potential. 

After a major upheaval or stressor rest and find the magic.  This magic will inspire you to take movement again.  You are a mass of energy in a gravitational field, a positive charge in the electric soup of life!!  The law of physics exist within you and around you.  Apply them and use them to your advantage.  The potential within you is empowered by the thoughts you think, the lessons you’ve learned, the longings you hold, the grief you cry, and the love you have for yourself and others.  Just as a rubber ball has the resiliency and capacity to bounce to new heights when thrown against the ground, you have the same resiliency and capacity to become and develop into something new that will lead to future successes.  Be not afraid of hitting the ground, from it is there you can fly.   

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